I am a Christian. I am not a sign-holding, judgmental, holier-than-thou person. I am imperfect. I make mistakes....lots of them. I often have to force myself into church because I rarely 'feel' like going. I don't always make enough time to pray or read as I should. But I am person of faith, and I once was not. I once doubted the existence of a god to the point I set out in copious research and studies to disprove him, to find religion as a farce, a game people played to give them security, or something they do out of tradition. Like so many, I have had some bumps and bruises in life and I have seen tears cried, blood shed, lives lost, diseases win, wars fought. I have seen darkness seemingly overtake all that is good.
I had every reason to not believe... but in a moment my life was turned. As a scientific, headstrong, and very analytical person who needs to know how EVERY component works, how it fits, how it functions. A person who must know FACTS, cold hard facts, not speculations, not theories or hypotheses. I found myself lost, without hope, and I found God.
I can't tell you to believe in Him, it's your choice. I can't show him to you, I can't prove him, I can't. I simply can't.
But I hope that I can answer a question, or at least give you something to think on, if you once believed but find that faith waning, or if even if you never believed.
The question that plagued my mind repeatedly growing up was ' in the midst of tragedy, disease, famine, drought, war...where is God?' If there was a God how could he allow such darkness, especially since the bible pegs God as a loving, caring, compassionate being.
My only answer is that we are imperfect as people. We each make mistakes. There have been no perfect people besides Jesus who have ever walked this earth. I am not saying tragedies like Columbine, 9/11, Newtown, the Navy Yard are due to you getting angry in traffic one day. I am saying that darkness exists in our world because we are a broken world. This world and the people in it are imperfect. As long as there is darkness/sin/immorality/bad choices, there will be bad things that happen to good people. There will be disease. There will be innocent lives lost. It is a mark on our world. Until there is no more darkness, there will be dark times. People of the Christian faith believe the only perfect place is heaven where there is no death, disease, or even tears, only joy.
We are a broken people in a broken world. But whether you chose to have faith or not is your choice. But I think we can agree that it is easy to allow the darkness to harden our hearts, to create fear, to lose sight of the good all around us. I think now more than ever is the time for believers to allow their faith to sustain them. To be salt and light to a broken world. I even challenge atheist, agnostics, and other faiths, to be the change, to be the good we want to see.
I cannot prove God to you, it is an experience/choice you have to make on your own, BUT I can prove that darkness cannot exist where there is light. A candle will illuminate a dark room, two candles will further illuminate a dark room, add another, and so on....I think you see where I am going. The more people of light, of doing good, of caring, showing compassion, giving....the less darkness can exist.
We live in a broken world. We can hide in our homes, our churches, our harden emotional shells, or we can reach in, reach out, shine.
It is hard to shine with a broken heart or one that is hardened, but start small, say a genuine hello and smile at a neighbor...be an ember. Find others who will help be a light in your community. An ember joined with others can become a flicker, a flicker a flame, a flame can become a burning blaze.
Today's world needs more than a matchstick, it needs lighthouses, burning brightly pointing others to safety from the dangers that lurk in darkness. Let your light shine and the darkness will flee, it will always find cracks and crevices to hide but we can make a difference.
Shine.
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